Wednesday, September 14, 2011

MOMMY!! My hair is Broken! It won't stay down!


Yes, in those exact words. "My hair is broken. It won't stay down." The scene: My 3 year old standing in front of a mirror, brushing her hair back, down, and to the side....frustrated because she cannot make it stay 'down' like her sisters' hair does...or like mommy's does. Telling me that her cute little perfectly picked out and moisturized 'fro  is not pretty because it 'is sticking up too much.' This seems to be a theme in my house. The child with the curly hair wants it straight. The child with the straight hair wants it curly. And the baby with the cute little coilies just wants her hair to lay down. And mommy is left wondering why I am the only one that seems to think that all of those little heads are perfect just the way they are.

Now don't get me wrong, none of my kids are lacking in the confidence department. Put some beads on the end of Li'l Bit's hair and she gets to swinging her hair can't tell her  nothin'. Corn rows with barrettes? She knows she's the flyest. Even afro puffs decorated with bows make her feel fancy. But leave that hair in its au naturale state, and be prepared to see one very unhappy mini person.

Sadly, its no wonder why my Li'l Bit is so self conscious and insecure about wearing her hair out. Of course mommy and daddy tell her all the time how beautiful her hair is. She knows that WE think her hair is perfect, but WE are not the problem.The problem is all of the people that approach us while we are out....and compliment Ally's hair. "Your girls are all so beautiful. And my, look at this one's hair. Ihave never seen hair that beautiful before." Or "This is the prettiest hair I have even seen, look at all those curls!" Admittedly, Ally's hair is amazing. It is very hard not to notice her long, naturally highlighted, endlessly spiralling locks. But seriously, people...would you compliment a child's hair and ignore the expectant gazes of her 2 sisters that are standing right beside her? Seriously?! Even from family members I have heard, "geez, you got so lucky with the first 2, why didn't she get the 'good hair'?" Even "I feel bad for you, I don't know what I would do with that hair." Really? Let me tell you what I do with that hair....I LOVE IT!!!!

I always try and give them the benefit of the doubt, I know that a lot of these people are just ignorant. They have no idea about different hair textures , and their lack of appreciation for my child's type 4 hair is stemmed from that ignorance. But let me tell you something, you people in the grocery store that ignore my baby and make her feel inferior because her hair doesn't fit your definition of 'beauty' daughter's coils are perfect! All of my children have healthy, well moisturized, tenderly touched locks of perfection. I should know; I keep them that way.

So I know I am not the only one out there dealing with this problem. How do you help your child develop an appreciation for their hair, no matter the texture?  I wish they could all see what I see....

that these heads are all beautiful!!

And I dare you to try and tell me otherwise!!


  1. Aww that's so sad! :( I'm glad you appreciate all of your girls' different textures. I hope you can encourage Lil Bit and help her know that her curls are perfect just the way they are!

  2. All their hair is gorgeous! What's so great is that they are all different, it makes them unique from each other. I used to hate looking like my sister and these girls are so lucky that they each have distinguishing features. Great post!

  3. it's all about the positive reinforcement. if someone compliments one kid, you compliment the others. don't budge and let them try to change their appearance based off of others views of them. special "hair pretties" and things like that can make them feel special about what they have. many many people in my husbands family have complimented that i'm lucky because my kids have "that good hair" but i always comment back, umm isn't all hair good hair? i'm biracial myself and i always longed for tighter curls that could stand up at great lengths and block views in a movie theater. even though i had a lot of pressure to straighten my hair to fit a more mainstream look, my mom wouldn't let me do it until i was probably 15/16 and i'm thankful for that. she did as you do and constantly reminded me of how beautiful i was with the hair i had.

    great post by the way =)


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